when men cry…
The whole morning had been quite busy:
I arrived early at work, earlier than normal. Colleagues were hurrying arround like super-busy bees, blueish bees in funny surgery sterile clothes… So I put on my blue clothes aswell and joined them, trying to improve the busy atmosphere and discharge the others stress a bit.
Time was rushing, and after some hours we finally were ready for Mrs K and her husband to come down into the delivery room. Mrs K was about to get a planned C-section, she was a bit nervous on the first impression, when they were waiting to be prepaired for the operating room. Very spontanously and decided by one doctor, Mrs K had to get a general anesthetic. Meaning that her husband could not be with her in the operating room to support her.
I was waiting outside, doing some other work, when I suddenly ran into Mr K, sitting on the side of one of our delivery rooms, desperately staring on the ground. I was surprised, because I expected him to be with his wife. I stoped and started to talk to him. However, I first thought that he might have left the operating room because he got sick or dizzy by seeing the operation process. But then I quickly realized, he was in deep worries about his wife. He was helpless and further more, not close to with his wife in that very important moment.
Mr K told be, that it should be his wife’s first baby, or better said, her first living baby. Some years ago, she had already been pregnant. But before the baby was mature enough to be born, it died. Nonetheless Mrs K gave birth to the baby in the normal way. She took her time with the baby, held it, buried it, said goodbye. Everafter that stillbirth, it was a very delicate and sensible topic for Mrs K and also, it took her a long time to become pregnant again. When they finally succeeded, Mrs K was very worried and insecure during the whole pregnancy, fearing, that something could happen again. And now, she was lying alone in the operation room…
While Mr K told me their story, he had tears in his eyes, his voice was weak and trembling. He told me, that all he wished was just a healthy vital baby and that his wife will be fine aswell.
Suddenly, during our conversation, I heard a newborn screaming two doors away. I immediately turned towards Mr K, lying my hand on his shoulders and telling him with a warm smile: ‘Listen – that is your daughter’…
In that moment, Mr K had all imaginable emotions in his face expressed – first of all gratefullness and love, exposed by the tears his eyes could not hold anymore…
… Sofie was vital and rosy, crying and loud, as if she wanted to show, that she was strong and wanted to be alive. She calmed down after 15 minutes, when she was lying on her father’s naked warming chest, being held tight and loved.
